Monthly Archives: December 2015

Cougars in the Midst?

CougarsI have been dating online, on and off, for around 4 years. In that time, especially recently, it seems to me, from the profiles I have been reading, that women, particularly in their 40’s and early 50’s, are looking to date younger men, rather than wanting to date men who are a little bit older than them, like me, who is in his middle 50’s. From a sociological perspective, I find this interesting in that census data for New York City indicates that of single men and women in the City, 53% are composed of single women (for all age groups), compared to 47% male, and that gap is even greater in Manhattan. Also, Manhattan has a significant gay male population (which I have read makes up around 9-12% of the City’s population), so the gap between single heterosexual women versus heterosexual men, is probably even greater, even taking into account a considerable gay female population in New York.

So what might be causing this trend for college-graduate and advanced degree women to seek younger men?  There is no simple answer, as it is a complicated issue and not going to be fully discussed in my short blog post, but from my observations I believe some of the factors involved in this trend include the fact that the women in this age group are deeply vested into their careers, are financially self-sufficient, have developed a group of similarly disposed female friends that they travel and spend time with, and are not as driven to have children as women in their 20’s and 30’s, so the traditional need to be in a long-term relationship with a man is not as strong. Also, as men and women get into their 40’s and 50’s, I believe the stakes of getting together are higher (more disruptive to one’s life, etc.), than in one’s 20’s and 30’s, and there might be a sense that being with an older man is a repeat of past relationships that have gone bad.

So as a consequence, there is a greater desire of women in this age bracket (late 30’s and early 40’s) to seek out younger men. However, I believe that co-equal men (e.g., income, social status, etc.) in their late 30’s and early 40’s, generally have a more traditional outlook, and have their eyes on even younger women, in their late 20’s and early 30’s, particularly if they want to have a family. Which bring me to an interesting August 25, 2015 article I read in the New York Post, by Reed Tucker, Sorry, ladies, there really is a man shortage, where he discusses how college-educated women should consider dating working-class men since they would be more disposed to date older educated women, so called “mixed collar” marriages, than white-collar men.

From my perspective, this development leaves me in a bit of a quandary, since I still do hold onto the traditional notion of only dating younger women (for me, in their 40’s and early 50’s), so I am finding that pool increasingly smaller than it was when I started dating online. My thought is that age differences, as a first impression, are not so pronounced when you meet someone in person (versus online), so as a consequence, I plan on shifting more of my time to doing activities to meet women, than using an online service. At least, that’s the plan for 2016. I’ll see how that goes.

A Balanced Diet — Hope for Meat Eaters?

steak In a study of Austrians, published in 2014, it concluded that adults who consumed a vegetarian diets were less healthly mentally and physically than those who consumed meat in their diets —  Nutrition and Health – The Association between Eating Behavior and Various Health Parameters: A Matched Sample Study, Nathalie Burkert, Johanna Muckenhuber, Franziska Großschaedl, Wolfgang Friedl, Institute of Social Medicine and Epidemiology, Medical University Graz, Austria, PLoS ONE 9(2): e88278. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0088278 (2014).  Of course there are many other studies that indicate there are health benefits to a vegetarian diet like a lower incidence of cholesterol problems.

It is also interesting to note that the human anatomical system is not a purely herbivore/vegetarian system like a cow’s digestive system (with multiple stomachs for digesting plant material), nor are we purely carnivores (with a wide opening mouth and with a whole set of jagged and sharp teeth), but we are omnivores so we have a system that can handle both plant and animal foods.  The Austrian study was particularly interesting in that is looked at the mental health effects of a vegetarian diet compared to a diet with meat, and found that the meat eaters were better off mentally.

Is this study the final word on the issue — of course not!  The debate about the benefits of a vegetarian diet verse a diet with meat has been raging for decades. Remember the scene in the 1973 film Sleeper where the vegetarian health food owner, portrayed by Woody Allen, awakes from cryoprerservation to a future to learn that eating red is now good for you. My take away is that since we are omnivores, our body is designed to intake both meat and plant food, so why deny our body what it is designed to handle.  In losing weight, and being able to maintain that loss, I have tried to have a balanced diet, and as a result, have become a poster child for my doctors as to my physical state, whereas before, I had high cholestreal and Type II Diabeties, which I no longer have. So the take away, as with just about everything, is balance and moderation are the keys.