Monaco, overlooking the Mediterranean, is home to the most famous car race in the world, a gathering spot for the beautiful and glamorous, a tax haven, and site of one of the world’s most high end non-grand slam tennis tournaments in the world. I have been to Monaco three times, once as I child when I traveled in Europe with my parents, and twice as an adult — in 2012 to attend the Formula 1 Grand Prix of Monaco, and in 2014 to attend the Rolex Masters Monte-Carlo tennis tournament.  Both trips made a lasting impression on me.

I was inspired today to write and reminisce about Monaco, since this weekend is the finals of the 2016 tennis tournament, and in a little over a month, they will be holding the 2016 Formula 1 race.  If you are a race car fan, a car aficionado, or a tennis fan, these two events are at the top of many bucket lists, particularly, the Grand Prix, like they were for me.

Monaco is a surreal place, with staggering beauty, and wealth, all compacted into a tiny area. After turning 50, the death of my long-time girlfriend 4 year’s earlier, having accomplished my goal of losing more than half my weight (and getting down to what I weighed running the NYC Marathon during law school), I approached 2012 as my crazy fun year, which included buying a new car, driving it in Europe, attending the Grand Prix of Monaco, driving on the Nurburgring, attending the first night of Oktoberfest, seeing the Ryder Cup, and attending the French Open, among other things. My main trip would be in May 2012, take two weeks, including stops in Munich, Lugano, Monaco, Paris (for the French Open after the F1 race), Reims (visiting the Tattinger winery), Strasbourg, and back to Munich. The planning for that trip took over 1 1/2 years, and ended up costing close to $30,000, even with my use of frequent flier miles, hotel rewards, and even getting a free car from BMW for two weeks. Also, should you want to reserve a hotel room for race weekend, be advised you will have to make your reservation over a year in advance, pay in full in advance, and expect a minimum stay of 3 or 4 days. It was a trip of lifetime, and worth every penny.

I will likely speak more about the rest of this trip in another blog entry, but the focus of today’s blog is Monaco. So in May 2012, I drove to Monaco from Lugano, driving down the French coast above the towns and villages, and through one mountain tunnel after another. When I arrived at the Monaco exit, the roadway snakes down to the Mediterranean Ocean. The roads are very tight, with a 30 kph speed limit, and the most prevalent vehicles are scooters and motorcycles. I was driving a BMW 650i coupe, on loan from BMW, and with regard to the whole car hierarchy for that weekend, mid-level in the pecking order at best.

I was staying at the Hotel Metropole, one of three 5-Star Hotels in Monaco which are right by  the race course —  Hotel Metropole with its view from Casino Square to Mirabeau corner, Hotel De Paris with its view of Casino Square, and the Hotel Hermitage, with its view of the harbor and the race track below.  Of the these hotels, I think the best one to watch the race from is the Hotel Metrople, as it is right next to the track and the viewing area is (i) just a floor up from the track (the Hermitage is not right next to the track, but up on a hill overlooking the track), (ii) has a wide scope of view from just after Casino Square to Mirabeau corner (whereas, the view from the Hotel De Paris is just of Casino Square), and (iii) there is a lot a action at Mirabeau corner. The place to watch the race at the Hotel Metrople, is the 2 Michelin Star Joël Robuchon restaurant, which has an outdoor terrace where you can watch race, and has TV monitors so you can see the rest of the race (see above pictures of the terrace and of Mirabeau corner). But you must make your reservations at least a year in advance, and bring your American Express Black Card, since watching the race on Sunday while having lunch, was the most expensive individual meal I have ever had, over $1,500/person without alcohol (plus you most be a hotel guest), but it was a lifetime experience, and completely worth it.

The race schedule is that there are practice sessions on Thursday, nothing on Friday so the race course is accessible to normal traffic, more practice and qualifying on Saturday, and the race on Sunday. I arrived on Thursday, and was able to have lunch and watch a practice session. As I was driving down towards the Metropole, on the Avenue de la Madone, there were all sorts of outdoor kiosks on my right hawking Formula 1 stuff, the Metropole Shopping Center to my left, and a tight left hand turn onto the main driveway of the Metropole. In my 650i I needed help to navigate the tight entrance, and it took a few tries to turn without hitting anything. A few interesting notes — the bottom portion of the Avenue de la Madone ends at Avenue des Spelugues (which is the race course), but the intersection creates a bump in the course that the drivers must swerve around, and off to the right of Mirabeau corner there is a run off area in case someone overcooks the turn, with a crane stationed there to hoist the cars right off the course if they miss the turn and cannot turn around.

At the restaurant you are given ear plugs since the sound is amazing and loud. I also brought my iPad (with an F1 app), so I could see in real-time where all the race cars were located on the track, get race information, and communicate with friends and family via e-mail as the race was going on, and they were watching on TV from the US. That was so cool, and I felt so connected — watching the race live in front of me, watching the rest of the race on the TV’s in the restaurant, tracking the race with my iPad, and communicating with family and friends as it was happening.

Before the race starts on Sunday, there is another race, and then the race car drivers are put on a flat-bed trailer, and driven around the course waving to the the spectators, with Prince Albert driving in front of the truck (yes, he was actually driving, with his with in the passenger seat) in a purpose built Lexus without a roof, so he could also wave to the crowd. You would think he would be driving some other car beside a Lexus, but I am sure much money was involved in that promotion. Also, although he is your royal highness Price Albert, he looks more like an Al from Queens.

As I mentioned, there is no racing on Friday, so I took the opportunity to play tennis at the Monte Carlo Country Club (“MCCC”) with one of the pros at the club. I have been to many tennis and country clubs in my lifetime, but have never played tennis on more picturesque tennis courts. On one side is a cliff, and you can periodically see hang gliders taking off and flying. On other side, you look upon the Mediterranean, with the courts placed in a terraced configuration. Their idea of an indoor court is an angled tarp that covers a few courts. The above picture of me in tennis gear was taken from the MCCC in 2012, and you can see in the background, some of the yachts for race weekend — the other picture, in a white shirt, jeans and sunglasses was take in April 2014 during the tennis tournament.  I fell in love with the place, and vowed to return for the ATP tennis tournament they hold at the MCCC every year, which I did in 2014.

At the tournament, there is a open air restaurant overlooking the main show court, and during play, you can hear wine glasses clinking, silverware clanking, and people speaking, and it also takes the crowd longer than usual to get settled during changeovers. When you appreciate that many spectators at this tournament make much more money than the top pros, and are used to getting their way, you can then understand why they do not care to be quiet or well behaved, since for them, this is their social gather not a tennis tournament  BTW — there is also another private dining area behind the courts on a patio (difficult to get access to), and this is where I ate since the main court restaurant required real local connections to get a table, which I did not have.

The MCCC is within walking distance from the Metropole Hotel, and I would walk back and forth every day. You can follow different roads, but I preferred to walk along the road by the ocean, which also had a boardwalk. By walking Monaco, you really get a sense how how dramatically the elevation changes, and this is also true of the race course. On TV, you never get a sense how dramatic the changes in elevations are throughout the course.

So what are some of my impressions and observations about Monaco? First, the primary pastime in Monaco is “peacocking”, so it is about who has the most exotic and rare car, the longest yacht, the most expensive watch (with the most complications), the most stylish outfits and shoes, etc. — you get the idea. Some of the yacht are so big they cannot fit in the harbor, and the yachts in the harbor are by no means small. Also, the cars parked around the Casino, are the most amazing cars you will ever see, and there is a real pecking order about how the cars are parked by the various valets — Ferrari, Lamborghini, Bugatti, Rolls Royce, Porsche, etc. Also, through the day and into the night, you can hear people revving their engines — it is not because they are driving fast, as the roads are tight and crowded, it is just they revving their engines to sound cool. They also drive around the race course route, and people stake out prime corners to take pictures of these cars. It is also interesting the the official Ferrari dealership does not have Ferrari in its name, but is call Scuderia Monte Carlo (“Scuderia” means stable or team in Italian), as if every one should know that the only Scuderia that matters is Ferrari.

Speaking of Ferrari, at the 2014 tennis tournament I spoke to fellow American who had moved to Monaco. The first thing he bought when me moved to Monaco, was two Ferrari’s, but he cannot drive them fast in Monaco, and if he drives to nearby Nice, France, he is worried the car will be stolen. Talk about golden handcuffs.

Well, I could write even more about Monaco, like how the Casino is flooded with scantly clad women, or how even in Monaco, you can find a supermarket, but there has to be some end to this blog entry.  For another day.

John Henry, is the American folk hero (the above image from the US Postal Service’s stamp), who supposedly raced and defeated a steam powered hammer in constructing a railroad tunnel — showing that a man could still triumph over a machine. Although the folk story ends tragically as John Henry dies, after defeating the mechanized steam hammer, some of the themes of the tale are a can-do spirit, focusing on one’s task, and perseverance in accomplishing a goal.  Another story that taps into that same spirit and themes is the children’s story The Little Engine That Could, — remember the little train’s refrain that “I think I can, I think I can… .” Both favorites of mine when growing up.

But how often do we say, “we have to do something”, like lose weight, exercise, etc., but end up procrastinating. That is because saying “we have to do something”, is more of a passive approach to a task, not an affirmative and direct assertive approach. That is why I like lists, maintaining a certain regimen, and saying “that is something I am doing,” instead of saying “that is something that I have to do”.  Yes, a bit of semantics, but most importantly, it is a mindset, that a task or goal has been identified, and you are engaged doing those steps that are necessary to accomplish the task or goal.  So if you have goals or tasks, do not look at it as something to be done in some future time, but something that you are in the process of accomplishing right now. With that advise, I am now headed to the gym for my 2nd hour of exercise today, with some weight training thrown in.

Today being Valentine’s Day, many couples end up going out for dinner.  But there are strategies that can lessen the calories one eats, whether it be at a Michelin 3-Star restaurant, or at McDonald’s, which will not unduly diminish the dining experience, yet leave one feeling less guilty after the meal.

First off, when making a reservation and picking a restaurant, I go online and look at the menu — even McDonald’s has their nutritional information online. What I am looking for is food choices that contain less calories, or can be modified to have less calories. Also, if the menu looks like it has too many high caloric dishes, I sometime end up looking for a restaurant with a broader menu.  First Rule of Thumb — anything with cream or cheese, is fatty, is fried, or breaded should be avoided. Second Rule of Thumb, if something would be associated with a comfort food, it has excess calories and should be avoided. Looking at the menu also provides the benefit of being able to think about and plan one’s meal, with an eye towards how to avoid foods high in calories.

So for example, say you are at a steak house, and want to have a steak, go towards leaner cuts like London Broil, Fillet Mignon, or Sirloin, and stay away from Prime Rib. Also, ask to have the meat without any sauces, like Bearnaise Sauce, and instead top the meat with Balsamic Vinegar, or if you are craving a sauce, have it on the side in a small container. Also, get the smaller cut of meat instead of the King Cut, going for the 8 oz cut instead of the 16 oz cut. Moreover, instead of Cream Spinach, get Steamed Broccoli, or Grilled Asparagus. For your salad, have oil and vinegar, instead of Ranch or Blue Cheese, and for dessert, have Fresh Fruit instead of Carrot or Chocolate Cake. Also, wine has a lot of calories, so instead just have water (maybe with some lemon for flavor), or unsweetened ice tea. You should also stay away from the bread and butter, and if you want potatoes, only get it baked (not mashed, etc.), and do not top if with butter or sour cream — maybe take some of the juice from the steak and mix it with the potato. My go to condiment is a good Balsamic Vinegar (not Vinaigrette which is a combination of oil and vinegar), which I use on meats, salads, and vegetables. Most steak houses I have been to have no problem accommodating these requests.

Another example is from McDonald’s, where you would think getting a salad is a healthier, and less caloric choice, than having a hamburger. However, that is not always the case, and the salad dressing, in addition to how the meat is prepared, can push the calories, and salt levels, beyond that of hamburger.  Looking at, for example, the nutrition link on McDonald’s Canadian website (www.mcdonalds.ca), McDonald’s new Caesar Salad with Crispy Chicken has 520 calories, the same calories as Big Mac, with the calories for the salad residing in the fried chicken and the Caesar dressing. But if instead, you get grilled chicken, the calorie count goes down by 160 calories (e.g., McDonald’s Caesar Salad with Grilled Chicken has only calories to 360 calories), and the calorie count can be reduced even further, by 208 calories (to a total for the whole salad of 132 calories), if you used a vinegar packet (2 calories) instead of the Caesar Dressing packet (which has 210 calories).  Same amount of food, but a 1/4 the calories, plus a lot less sodium and sugar.  That is how to make smart choices, which do not significantly change the amount of food, but have a huge effect on the calories.

In a Mexican restaurant, I avoid the chips, tortillas, etc., and instead use just salsa to dress a dish. So get a fajita instead of taco, enchilada, etc. (which is grilled meat), and avoid the cheese, tortillas and sour cream, and get extra grilled vegetables, all topped with salsa and/or minced tomatoes. And if you cannot go without some guacamole, get it in a small container on the side. As for the chips and salsa at the beginning of the meal, I instead ask for sliced vegetables like carrots and celery (instead of chips) and if that is not possible, then just eat the salsa out of its container with a fork. I also avoid rice, and re-fried beans.

For Italian restaurants, I stay away from anything breaded, fried, or heavy in cheese, and also avoid anything covered in Mariana sauce, which typically has a fair amount of sugar and salt in it. Pasta is another thing I avoid, but if you have to have pasta (maybe whole wheat if that is available), ask for it lightly sauteed in olive oil, and with vegetables and grilled chicken.  Likewise, in Chinese restaurants, I avoid anything fried, or having a heavy sauces, and ask for steamed vegetables instead of fried. And if you have to have rice (which I avoid), get brown rice instead of white rice.

Another strategy I use is to try and not to eat out too late, since if you eat out too close to when you go to sleep, your body’s reduced sleep metabolism, will not do as good a job in burning up the calories in your body from dinner, so it ends up as stored fat in your body. The latest I like to eat is 7 pm, and if I can eat earlier, I do.  It is also a good practice to take a walk after you eat, rather than hopping into a car. In New York City, it is easy to do, and I make a practice to walk to the restaurant I am eating at, and to walk back, rather than taking a cab, bus or subway.

Lastly, if you find this all a bit draconian, another strategy I use is that I allow myself one day a week, after my official weigh in for the week, to be a bit looser with the food I eat. This way I do not go crazy craving some food, but even on this one day, I do not overboard. To be honest, I do have one exception to my fruit for dessert rule, and that is if the restaurant has Chocolate Souffle, but that so rarely occurs, it is not a problem, plus Souffle’s tend to be on the lighter side.  All these little tricks help, and the benefits add up, by keeping the calories down.  Hopefully, you can now get a sense of what are some of the choices you can make, and strategies you can employ, which will help lower your caloric intake while dining out, but not ruin your dining experience.

When I played soccer in high school, we would sometimes pass the ball backwards to reset the attack, and that is how I feel about 2015.  With my shoulder surgery, the dent in my physical conditioning, limitation of sports and activities, and my weight gain, I felt that 2015 was a year which I took a step backwards. As it turns out, I ended up weighing 13 more pounds than I did at the end of 2014. However, I have now started to weight train again, just finished the physical therapy for my shoulder, started playing tennis, and expect to go skiing in a month or two. Plus, I again ran in the New Year’s Eve Midnight run in Central Park, which is a fantastic way to start the new year.

It has not gone unnoticed by me, that my clothes are tighter, and and in some instances, do not quite fit, so the expectation for 2016 is to get my weight back into the 190’s, and to get back in shape — lose those 13 pounds and I’ll be fine. A promising sign is that I can now do 10 pushups without tiring out, which I could not do even a couple of weeks ago.  Also, last week, I played 6 straight days of tennis, in Palm Springs (see the above picture from Palm Springs), and my shoulder felt fine, although my legs definitely got sore.

So 2016, I  will refocus, and regroup, and I think that is a good way to approach the New Year. My approach is to create specific targets you want to meet, but keep them reasonable, and make sure that what you need to do, in order to meet those targets, is something that is sustainable. Watch out 2016.

BTW — Just a miscellaneous observation from the West Coast. While in Palm Springs I had a chance to watch some TV, and noticed the proliferation of cosmetic surgery advertisements, and for bariatric surgery, whereas, the commercials during the day in New York City are for lawyers and tort litigation.

I have been dating online, on and off, for around 4 years. In that time, especially recently, it seems to me, from the profiles I have been reading, that women, particularly in their 40’s and early 50’s, are looking to date younger men, rather than wanting to date men who are a little bit older than them, like me, who is in his middle 50’s. From a sociological perspective, I find this interesting in that census data for New York City indicates that of single men and women in the City, 53% are composed of single women (for all age groups), compared to 47% male, and that gap is even greater in Manhattan. Also, Manhattan has a significant gay male population (which I have read makes up around 9-12% of the City’s population), so the gap between single heterosexual women versus heterosexual men, is probably even greater, even taking into account a considerable gay female population in New York.

So what might be causing this trend for college-graduate and advanced degree women to seek younger men?  There is no simple answer, as it is a complicated issue and not going to be fully discussed in my short blog post, but from my observations I believe some of the factors involved in this trend include the fact that the women in this age group are deeply vested into their careers, are financially self-sufficient, have developed a group of similarly disposed female friends that they travel and spend time with, and are not as driven to have children as women in their 20’s and 30’s, so the traditional need to be in a long-term relationship with a man is not as strong. Also, as men and women get into their 40’s and 50’s, I believe the stakes of getting together are higher (more disruptive to one’s life, etc.), than in one’s 20’s and 30’s, and there might be a sense that being with an older man is a repeat of past relationships that have gone bad.

So as a consequence, there is a greater desire of women in this age bracket (late 30’s and early 40’s) to seek out younger men. However, I believe that co-equal men (e.g., income, social status, etc.) in their late 30’s and early 40’s, generally have a more traditional outlook, and have their eyes on even younger women, in their late 20’s and early 30’s, particularly if they want to have a family. Which bring me to an interesting August 25, 2015 article I read in the New York Post, by Reed Tucker, Sorry, ladies, there really is a man shortage, where he discusses how college-educated women should consider dating working-class men since they would be more disposed to date older educated women, so called “mixed collar” marriages, than white-collar men.

From my perspective, this development leaves me in a bit of a quandary, since I still do hold onto the traditional notion of only dating younger women (for me, in their 40’s and early 50’s), so I am finding that pool increasingly smaller than it was when I started dating online. My thought is that age differences, as a first impression, are not so pronounced when you meet someone in person (versus online), so as a consequence, I plan on shifting more of my time to doing activities to meet women, than using an online service. At least, that’s the plan for 2016. I’ll see how that goes.